Alive, once again

They say living is a privilege, I didn't understand them... No, that isn't right, it just didn't feel real for me, I mean, everyone is alive... They were right, it is a privilege, and I only understand how much it means to live now, now that I've lost the privilege to do so.... It pains me... so much... too much... Why did she have to cry? Couldn't she understand what I would feel from that? It broke my heart... It doesn't matter anymore, I'm dying, no, I'm already dead... So tired... I wanna sleep... But I regret... [Mature is for blood, slaves, abuse, crude descriptions, etc, not sex, but be warned, I won't be nice with the human race sometimes.]