Dylan of Dirt - (Book 1 Complete!) [LitRPG Progression Satire]

An Accidental Hero. A New World. A Reckless Amount of Deaths. This is a self-depreciating, snarky, irreverent, emotional story about an average, lovable idiot who is on a journey to become one of the most over powered entities in the multiverse (or Dylanverse as it's more commonly known). *Jedi mind trick wave of the hand* This isn't the wish fulfillment, self insert story you are looking for... (Come back in a few books. Dylan might be bad ass enough for you then.) He's gotta earn it first! Still here? Cool, roll the blurb! "Dylan was having a normal day—well, as normal as life gets when you’ve been socially isolated by Uber Eats and Amazon Prime. One unfortunate step off a curb later, Dylan finds himself in a strange fantasy world with no phone, no pants, and an endless stream of WTF moments. From bloodthirsty dragons to time-manipulating artifacts, Dylan’s new reality is equal parts confusing and lethal. Dying might be temporary, but survival is anything but simple when fate hands you magic powers and you accidentally skip the tutorial. Resets, resets everywhere. Thirty-five lives. No clue what they’re meant for. And with every new death, the stakes rise—as does the body count. Between shirtless elves, dragon sorcerers, and a mysterious rogue with too many pockets, Dylan’s going to need more than snark and stubbornness to navigate his way through a world that doesn’t play fair. Can he figure out his newfound powers before he runs out of second chances? Follow Dylan as he makes friends, mistakes, and learns how to become an adventurer." What to expect: - 2-3k word chapters, 3 rotating POVs (70%+ MC), no cliffhangers on POV swaps. - Unique progression system: magic abilities, ranks, contracts, quests, loot boxes, and much more. - Slow-burn, slice-of-life storytelling, and comedy throughout. - Chapter schedule: Mon and Fri 5:07am EST (until Book 1 edit is complete, then back to Mon, Wed, Fri) - Bonus: Jump 20 chapters ahead on Patreon. A perfectly imperfect protagonist stumbles into an intergalactic fantasy world where magic, adventurer ranks, and lootboxes shape reality. With slow-burn character development, layered progression, and humor that thrives in the chaos, this slice-of-life comedy explores what happens when an average guy skips the tutorial and has to figure things out—one reset (and side quest) at a time. No harems, no POV cliffhangers, just honest growth and a sprinkle of romance... (eventually).