Glitched! Uplift Arc

[Winner of the April 22 Royal Road Writathon Challenge] In 2202 the System reached Earth. Thankfully it had learnt from previous uplifts and implemented an introductory arc to acclimatise the new participants rather than chucking them in the deep end.  The previous practice of just dumping unsuspecting beings into a System designed for the growth of the multiverse had led to catastrophic and sub-optimal results. The return on investment was abysmal. That old trope was so over-cooked - after nearly extinguishing itself through negative returns new policy was required. That was 356 trillion local years back. Now over 5600 successful uplifts had joined the ranks of the multiverse. But the System was always learning, always growing. Still there were glitches. Mostly minor. Mere irritants really. Sometimes even they were catalysts, triggering a fresh expansion. Soon the System would understand why. Our Earth was 7912th.   - Ascend - Battle - Challenge - Dominate - Expand - Gro... - Glor...    - Where’s the eff word?  - Glitch...   File corrupted.  ---END SYN---