My Life After Being Killed By My Golden Retriever (An unhinged parody of the LitRPG genre)

Golden Retrievers hit like a truck, and Walter—your local full-time asshole and degenerate—found out in an accident that turned his life around a hundred eighty degrees. And then another. And another. Downstairs. This led to both of them, owner and pet, hitting the door head-on and passing away. But that was just the beginning. Now trapped in a game-like fantasy world controlled by an Argentinian demiurge, they will forge an alliance with the shady ruler of the land—who bedded at least one elf and defeated the Demon Lord—with the only purpose of finding a way back home. With the aid of his brow, knowledge of Argentinian culture, a nearly total lack of empathy, the ruler’s zany daughters and an overpowered and fluffy entity of chaos he simply regards as “Mariana, my stupid dog”, Walter will need to fulfill the dangerous task entrusted to him. That is, finding a way to kill the very moon and recover the item it drops. From covering himself in undead belts to wielding Mariana as the tail-wagging sword she was always meant to be, Walter will need to use every last one of his braincells to find ways to survive deadly deserts plagued with Borgian horrors, explore an infinite library managed by lungfish, garner the favor of a bunch of dog-people that wouldn’t mind the world ending, and overcome other Argentinians that like the fantasy land a tad too much. He knows only then he will be able to go back to Earth and fulfill his deepest desire: Jacking off to Konosuba! Doujins once more. Warning: this fiction contains situations that may not be suited for everybody. On top of that, it contains  some elements that may not be everyone's cup of tea, like for example: characters speaking Spanish, violence against animals, violence by animals, jokes about delicate subjects, obscure jokes about paleontology and, last but not least, footnotes.