The Dark Lord's Diner

The Breakfast of Champions (The Dark Lord’s Diner Book 1) When he was alive, the Dark Lord tried to conquer the world of Allbreath. Who knew that conquest was easier than opening a diner in a bad part of town? Salvanguish Abner Ordinal was having a bad day. He lost his ancient coin of power, his best friend stabbed him through the heart, and he died. Death is so inconvenient. A thousand years later, he is resurrected and given a choice: Live by a strict code of ethics or return to the Abyssmuck for an eternity of torture. Kind of an easy decision. His only option for cash is opening a haunted diner where one ghost is giving him peaches while another is trying to kill him dead. Tower City on Torment Island isn’t an easy place to live, not with all the tower climbers there, seeking the Deux Coin. Then there’s the inept but very fashionable governor and five very strange mafia families fighting over territory. Sal has his work cut out for him. His arsenal of spells are gone, and he’s having trouble figuring out his new character sheet. But one thing is clear, his Karmic Gauge makes it impossible for him to lie, cheat, steal, or murder his way to success. It's like THE LORD OF THE RINGS meets PARKS & REC, or what if Sauron opened a breakfast café in Minas Tirith with the help of a friendly mouse?